Editorial: Dear contributors, consumers and correspondents

The thing about news is the writing of it.

Byline after byline we scavenge for headlines. Eyes, ears, head, shoulders, knees and certainly toes are committed to the constant consumption of information. “That looks good,” we think.

“Maybe we should get it, but at what price?”

A good reporter scavenges with no concern for much other than that inglorious word: libel. Perhaps it can be described as the "news business" version of dysentery. Libel is rather likely to lead one towards unpleasant situations.

“So no, maybe not that article.”

The hands search on. Our reporters, the hands of this odd, organically mechanized institution, hold the bowels together. Held fast and strung along by leads, they toil forth into a daunting night.

It never fails that the ease by which an article is produced is constantly overestimated. As stories are passed hand-to-hand, they eventually meet the eyes, editors of this operation. The ones boxed neatly beneath the editorial are often found every other Sunday leading into Monday sifting through content. No one likes a parasite, especially the kinds that cause dysentery.

The eyes scan as the brain recalls. The Editor in Chief and the managing editor orchestrate and regulate based on precedent. All of this is because of one truth - when looking for a miracle, The Associate Press Stylebook is one of the last places one would naturally look, especially since that holly-book of the news biz offers no listing for the word.

So meticulously we remember: budget cuts, circle bikes, a community united by fire and earthquakes in Haiti. In a business void of miracles, the Fiat’s last leg is consumption. We search for the readable story and the sell-able syntax. The authority a newspaper claims is more tenuous than the readership may know.

We would like to expound on the fact that as the mind is dependent upon the eyes to see, and eyes on the hands to interact, our system would not function if there were no ultimate receiver of our production. Therefore in retrospect and with the mind on prospective readership - the mouth - thank you. Thank you for being the body’s voice. Without newsmakers, articulators and consumers, there would be no news.

Alas three minutes to Monday morning's three a.m., the body of this operation can work only so long before the mind starts forgetting things like page numbers and placement. Worst of all is when selective Alzheimer’s sets in to shroud that upper left quadrant of page two.

Processed, edited, stories thoroughly digested and rhyme sometimes we try to edit out rhyme. There aren’t many headlines with alliteration. Oops.

Excrement. And that’s the news.